the girl who owns the world
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Still exhausted
When you have a very long period, and you still bleed every now and then, it gets hard, you know. It gets hard to do all the things you need to do, and want to do. You feel tired, and you start taking medication that’s supposed to help with that. You are tired, and you take medication that’s supposed to stop it from happening, but there’s still blood every now and then. You get worn out from this. And you get tired. And you can’t ever seem to do what you need to lately, and you wonder why you’re so tired.
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May 25, 2013
Day 24: A song by a band that you wish were still together
Cain and Abel-Sing it with some soul
This was sort of a local-ish folky band. You know, those Southern Ontario try hard bands you remember seeing too many of when you were in high school. They were really good, and I was upset when I heard they broke up. I think we all had hopes they’d be something more than a band from our youth ages.
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Me n my gf
(via combatbabycomeback)
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May 24, 2013
Day 23: A song that you think everyone should listen to
Nicki Minaj-Dear Old Nicki
I think you should listen to whatever you want, but I think this is an incredibly relatable song about self-growth. How do you represent your change to yourself?
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I met this girl about 3 years ago at work and we became instant besties. Long story short, she betrayed the shit out of me. Basically, this guy liked me a lot and she talked him out of it and used him to make me jealous. I know I shouldn't blame her and blame him, but whatever. She was a part of it. Fast forward to now. I just got an amazing opportunity and she got rejected from doing her masters. Do you believe in karma? I feel that this is a karmic force.
Anonymous
I do believe in karma, but I do not believe that karma can be prescribed like this. We do this all the time-we just sit back and see someone who we feel has wronged us and say “Hah! That’s karma! Look at what just happened to them!” Like it’s some sort of psychic justice.
Is this karma for them, or karma for you? There is probably no correlation between her betrayal, and her getting rejected from her master’s program. I doubt she has made this connection in her own mind to say-“Ah I got rejected from my master’s program, it must be because of that incident at work several years ago with that guy and that girl who used to be my friend.”
I haven’t really studied karma, or know to much about it, but I believe it to be something more sublime. Like it’s a way to establish flow back into life, because we can only take so many injuries, and so many good days at a time too. But, it’s on a personal level. It is what happens to you, not what happens to others and how that affects you. Karma might be you establishing yourself in your life and getting opportunities, when you felt a few years ago you had none.
It’s what you believe though. If you want to believe that this is a punishment for what she did to you-then you can choose to see it as such. But things can change so suddenly and severely. Amazing opportunities can change, people can apply again and get accepted to their masters programs.
What you can do though, is to make peace with what happened, and try to heal. Make sure you don’t harbor negative feelings-against this girl, or other girls you may see who are “like her”.
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A photo I took of my things at Starbucks a couple of days ago. I am really enjoying Dostoevsky’s Poor Folk as a light summer read. Sometimes the people at work tease me about my “light” summer reads aka my miscellaneous research on abjection, and novels with serious titles.
Not many people like my art, but it’s okay.
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I actually like instant coffee now
Proof you can convert the unwilling (mostly unwilling) to almost anything. It’s not bad. I find myself craving it a little in the mornings. I think “Maybe I’ll just wait to get to work to have that first cup of coffee”, the bitterness, the “there’s something not quite right with this” taste is what I love the most.
I was trying to say something poignant. I don’t think I quite made it there.
I am tired and distracted for some reason.
Maybe it’s the humidity. I can take heat, dry, burning searing heat, but the humidity is too much.
Work was also very long, drawn-out you know. It was very long. We got slammed with returns and THIS MUST BE DONE NOWS, and I did too much. I tried to do too much, and I did.
I am working on a new project though, if it’s any consolation. Project number 300 405.4 if you’re keeping track. It’s just in the brain thinking stage, so nothing too glamourous yet.
Goodnight. I don’t know. Blogging is too much in the summer. I don’t have anything to say, and it’s hot.
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May 23, 2013
Day 22: A song that moves you forward
MEN-Off our backs
JD dances like I do when I am by myself. Or in public sometimes. Let’s be real. If I put on this song, and I have to get motivated to start doing something, I can get moving 9/10 times.
Also, don’t you want to be in that tug of war with someone you’re keen on?
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Uh yes please
(via chanterbury)
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May 22, 2013
Day 21: A favourite song with a person’s name in the title
Leonard Cohen-Suzanne
A lot of my music taste is influenced by my sisters and probably my dad (more than I am willing to admit). This is one of my favourite Leonard Cohen songs.
